killing in pain

Why do I live for?
Is it for a purpose or just nothing?
Am I just living to feel the pain?
The pain that darkens my day,
And the loneliness which kills me,
Killing me little by little. . .
Eating my soul until it's gone
Ripping it to pieces like a paper.
Why do I live for?
Is it to die, just to feel all the pain?
Or is it . . . I'm living just to. . .
DIE ? ? ?

unang pag-ibig

Pinakamasaya na ang araw na ito.
Aking nakamit minimithi kong "oo"
Hindi ko ito malilimutan sa buong buhay ko
Bali-baliktarin man magulo kong mundo.

Unang pag-ibig,unang pagsinta
Magmahal na muli,saki'y ipinadama.
Puso'y humihiling,lihim na umaasa
Sana, mga araw na ito'y wag nang matapos pa.

Ikaw ang naglagay ng masiglang ngiti
Napawi ang kahapong may hirap at pighati.
Ikaw ang naging pag-asa,ilaw at gabay
Naituwid mo mga pagkakamali ko sa buhay.

Pag-ibig nga bang ito'y hanggang kailan?
Darating din ang pagkakataong ako'y iyo ring iiwan.
Ngunit sa ngayon,panahon ay susulitin
Sisiguruhing masusuklian iniukol mong pagtingin.

Mali nga ba ang umibig?
Magkaroon ng liwanag ang madilim kong daigdig.
Ngunit sa aking isipan,isang bagay ang tumanim:
Mali ang magtiis at utos ng puso nay supilin.

DEAR WHOEVER-TEARS OF ASHES

Can you hear me? I am screaming. I am screaming. Can you hear me? Blood is dripping. Nails are piercing Thorns are ripping. Ripping through I see the tragedy It comes to me In bloody... broken dreams I couldn't live like this you died, that's what I took for granted I live for you (I'll die for you) I live for you (I'll die for you) I live for you (I'll die for you) I live for you... Can you hear me? I am screaming. I can hear your voice near me. You cried out when I was needing I was nothing, I'll stand with you here. Now I see that you are here for me to lean on We shed tears of ashes for death that became truth. I could hear you speak, but I tried not to. It made sense to me, all I need is you. Can you hear me? I am screaming. I can hear your voice near me. You cried out when I was needing I was nothing, you comfort me Can you hear me? I am screaming. I can hear your voice near me. You cried out when I was needing I was nothing, I was nothing, you comfort me You've been changing me and been holding I won't be afraid to stand alone! You set the way for me to follow won't waste the day. This time I'll follow. This blood shed for me, I won't take lightly. (You set the way for me to follow won't waste the day. This time I'll follow) Your blood shed for me, I won't take lightly (You set the way for me to follow won't waste the day) (I) I will fight (will) for the meaning of this (fight) You died for me (for you) you saved me (I) Now I will (will) stand strong (fight) defending for your name No more am I afraid. I won't forget your name. No!

you make my day

Take me away
from the shadows of tears that blocked my way.
Will you please lead the way?
Answer all those questions that makes me forget your name.
I've tried to talk to you
But I guess you're tired
to pull him through.
It's not that easy to forget
And those tears I cried, I won't regret.
You're here with me but you seemed so far away.
I've tried not to suffocate in the mess we made.
I'm not here to complain,
But here to explain.
Please lead the way,
Because despite of all of these,
You make my day.

To have a LIFE

To have a life,
you must kill.
And spill the victims blood
without mercy.
To have a life,
you must cut all guts.
Forget all those pities
And have a change of heart.
Devil should cry
Or if not,he must die.
But to have a life,
You must. . .
KILL YOURSELF ! ! !

endless pain

I am living with the pain inside
Covering the sadness with those fake smiles.
Laying down all my senses,
My senses that failed me.

Don't ask me on how I feel
Because you know I'll just say okay.
If you only got a taste,
You'll think I'm getting insane.

I just want to scream because of emptiness.
When I'm alone,I always hear the song of sadness.
I want to scream because of total confusion
And I want to end this endless resurrection.

My vampire heart bleeds,
Pulverized like a sand as it breaks,
Shatter it to millions of pieces
Scattered like burning paper into ashes.

My misery ends when blades cut my wrists
Blood flows down, tears like razorblades
As I feel my death, silence doom
And still, my destination is unknown.

the vampire

Tonight will be the night of my flight,
As I fly through the air,
I have felt the joy that was covered by the pain.

Tonight,I have felt the freedom I've never felt before.
Not long after I'm all alone
And my thirst for blood is rising,
Looking and waiting 'till I've found my next victim.

Tonight,
I'll follow you through the dark.
To be your guardian
And in light, I'll be your guide.

And tonight will be the night of my death.
As the silence killed me,
Swords stabbed my back,
Pulverized my hopes like a smashed sand.

As I fall like a crushing leaf,
I screamed to my disgrace;
And my vampiric heart breaks,
Asking if I could ever fly again. . .

What if. . ?

What if I tell you that I love you?
Would you tell me that you love me, too?
What if I'm just hiding it for so long?
Would you tell me what I feel is wrong?

What if you're the only person i truly loved?
And the one who changed my life?
Would you love me back?
Would you tell me everything's alright?

What if I killed myself?
Would you stop me?
What if it's the answer to my endless pain?
Would you feel like sorry?

What if I die today?
Would you cry for my death?
Would you miss me wherever I am?
Will everything still be the same?

I am open to all possibilities,
I'm not expecting too much. . .
For in this world, I can tell,
There's many what if's in my mind. . .

the day I dream

Something happen to me
it was the sweetest day that could ever be
A fantasy, a dream come true

It was the day I met you.
I wrote your name in the sand but the waves washed it away.
Then I put it above the sky but the wind blew it away.
So I put it in my heart, there it will stay.

If I could be one thing in your life,
I would be a tear
Born in your eyes, living in your heart
and dying in your lips.

You never start frowning because you never knew
who's falling in love with you.
If I need to choose between you and the world,
I'd rather choose YOU.

Know why?

Because YOU mean WORLD to me. . .

Giving up

My heart bleeds
as I saw your tear strained face.
I feel hatred rising
and my vampiric heart breaks.

It's really hard when it comes in giving up,
I'm so sick of being hurt;I'm almost fed-up.
But it's you I can't really forget,
All the tears I shed;I won't regret.

Push me away from the shadow of tears,
And let me face the things I fear.
I wish my life was a song
that never dies and live for long.

I wish I am your tears
Let me feel your worries and fears,
Let me burn all the lies
Because this love of mine that never dies, I'll keep.

Bakit nga ba?

Bakit nga ba minahal agad kita?
hindi ko alam kung ano ang sayo'y nakita
Biglang nag-iba aking nadarama
Sayo nga ba,ako'y nahuhulog na?

Bakit nga ba ika'y aking iniwan?
Pinilit kong kalimutan magagandang pinagsamahan
Pinilit ko ding ignorahin aking nararamdaman
Bawat tingin mo't titig aking iniiwasan.

Bakit nga ba ginusto kong magbago
At kalimutan na lang dating damdamin sa'yo?
Pilit ibahin magandang pakikitungo
Nginit kapag may kasama ka, ako'y naninibugho.

Bakit nga ba iniisip pa rin kita?
Sa mga sandaling ako'y mag-isa,sumasagi ka sa aking ala-ala
Dating pakiramdam,muling bumabalik
at bawat saglit,puso ko'y ikaw ang ipinipintig.

Bakit nga ba,hinahanap-hanap kita?
Di ko maintindihan,ako'y nagtataka
Ako'y nalilito ngunit walang magawa
Umaasa akong ito'y agad ring mawawala.

Minsan ako'y naguguluhan,
kung babalik ba ako'y mayroon pang babalikan?
Ngunit labis akong nagtataka
Bakit pag-ibig ay sobrang mahiwaga?

endless

An endless breath of suffering
with the worthless heart beating.
Down to the misery of my life
it's like that I want to burst from inside.
Burning my soul to ashes,
crushing me, tearing me
The breath of sorrow is always with me.
Cursed by the day when I was torned,
making me numb and cold.
Spilling my blood on the thirst of importance
when will it end?
This endless breath of suffering,
This breath of sorrow. . .
and the endless pain I kept inside
When will it ever end?

girl in the rain

There was once a girl in the rain
crying. . .
Asking of how much is the importance
of her existence.
Her life is such a miser that
she wanted to die.
No one saw the mist of pain in her eyes.
As she walked away,
tears of blood dripped from her face
But no one cares to wipe it away.
So this girl tried to kill herself,
shot a gun in her head and
cut her throat with a knife
but doesn't feel the pain.
And she realized,
Her life is worth nothing!!!
As she fell onto the ground,
tears run down her face
And abandoned. . .
Her life was snatched away.

agony of holding on

The sound of silence is deafening me
All the lies kept on blinding me
The ghost of sorrow is always on my side
Saying all the things seem alright.

My world turned dark
So I lined my soul black and white.
I've endured the pain of promises broken
And the impact of million words unsaid.

When can I feel their acceptance?
Do they know the importance of my existence?
Until when can I hide the tears I shed?
And when will these miseries came to its end?

I just want to die so I cut my wrists,
Blood flows down through my veins
As death comes nearer,
I realized. . .there's an agony of holding on.

Misery

Living without acceptance
is like dying without importance
And my thirst for importance in this world is rising
Pushing me through the edge of my existence.
And if killing myself is the answer to my endless pain,
I should have cut my wrist and let it bleed.
As I heard the whisper of death,
the spell breaks,bringing the entire curse.
And here I am. . .
Suffering like a helpless victim;
fighting for death and survival as I scream.
For so many times I've endured the pain,
I became stone-cold and numb.So now, as I lay dying
I can't stop the tears from falling.
As it fell in the ground,it turns to ashes
I felt that my vampiric heart breaks.
And as I close my eyes,I'm just waiting for my time to come to its end.

Ressurection

Tears become ashes
As the blood runs through the veins.
As I scream to my resurrection,
I have come to my tragic end.
This night will be the night of my nightmares,
And this night will bring all creeps.
As it causes my greatest suffering,
I just don't want to wake in my sleep.
I have lived in pain and miser
but I don't know how to escape the truth-
That I have this black blood and dark heart
that brings my life a curse.
My life is worth nothing
and my heartbeats the worthless beating.
I'm hopeless but still waiting
I'm broken but silently crying.
I just want to die but I'm still holding on,
You're the reason why i'm still moving on
You're the angel that was sent for me
And from my past who'd have set me free. . .

Emotion

Tears became ashes
As I scream so hard.
I even asked before,
with a dagger in my hand:
"when will my misery come to its end?"

Every night I cried, feeling so alone
Sitting in the dark corners with my own.
I often think of slitting my wrist
while remembering all the things I often miss.

Sometimes I just want to die,
But I just can't even how many times I try
Hate, sometimes, can bring me to insanity
And sometimes, it leads me to stupidity.

How many times, I wonder
Can anger will make me feel better?
Even if sometimes I became really high
I just wanna stop and close my eyes.

I'm tired of this misery,
So sick of being silly,
I even feel so empty
Breaking free from those bitter-sweet memories.

I always end up hating myself,
Hiding all the pain I felt
Wiping those tears I shed
And waiting for my time to come to its end. . .